The very official Best Worst blog ever!

A year older, and hopefully wiser...

2010-05-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

I have not looked at this blog since my last post. Wait, that isn't true. I "stopped in" a little while ago, and saw that several of my posts got spammed with weirdo comments from foreign spammers and the likes of Cialis advertizers. That discouraged me from blogging (not that I needed much discouragement).

Now that I've looked at what I've written, I am mildly amused (and perhaps even a bit embarrassed) by how childish and sort of silly the vast majority of my posts have been. Its as if I was trying to write on behalf of someone else. Don't get me wrong, I have not given up my reality television (not going to happen, no matter how much J huffs and puffs about the demise of civilization), but lets see if I can find my true voice out here.

And on that hopeful note....don't I have the first episode of the Bachelorette to watch (its Ali!)?

Get over it

2009-03-05T23:41:00.000-08:00

People need to calm down. All this Bachelor lunacy is ridiculous. He picks Melissa, then dumps her and picks the other one, Molly. What's the big deal? Oh that he did it on national TV? You mean like the rest of the show??? Like ABC had nothing to do with this? Seriously people. Get a hold of yourself. Was it douchebag-ey? Perhaps. But as Melissa admits now, she wasn't actually dumped on national TV. They broke up way before. And she's already "in love" with someone else who she's been dating on and off for 2 years. Poor her, so heart broken! Besides, Melissa was annoying. She acted like a 12 year old. And it was pretty obvious that what he "loved" about her was that she was obsessed with him. I was rooting for Molly anyways :-)

And this is the first Bachelorette I will watch in years, mainly b/c it's Jillian, whom I loved.

I cannot believe I just blogged about this. I need help.

2009-03-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

Do we really even need to talk about this? Because I think it speaks for itself. This is what we call "res ipsa loquitur" in lawyer-speak. Although I don't know if it can even speak with all that shit in its lips. Look at the full-sized image at your own risk. And please oh please note the purple eyeliner.

2009-03-01T00:28:00.000-08:00

I finally decided on a computer, and went out and got it today. We need a desktop since we're so grown up and stuff now. The dinky laptop just wasn't cutting it. I love it. It's a Sony all-in-one, kind of like an iMac, except with 4 times the memory and 500 bucks cheaper. Oh yeah, and it's not a Mac. Whatev. I love it nonetheless. Hope J approves.

Finally

2009-02-17T10:37:00.001-08:00

49 hours, 0 cigarettes. Oh yeah, and I start Krav Maga tonight. Preparing myself for pain and lots of bruises.

I tried to find a non-copyrighted image of a sad mime, with zero success.

2009-02-12T15:34:00.000-08:00

Apparently the only time I have to blog is when my husband is deployed. It is time yet again. He left yesterday. I am giving myself one week to mope/weep/be pissed off at the world. Then I'm going to use these seven months to get my shit together. Become a better attorney, a better wife, a better friend. Here's the plan, my resolutions of sort:

1. quit smoking
2. lose the poundage I packed on since the wedding by finally joining a gym and cooking at home more
3. organize our tiny apartment
4. read a book from cover to cover
5. make use of my netflix account to catch up on all the movies I've wanted to see forever
6. learn to use the damn sewing machine
7. explore the general geographic area - there's so much stuff to do around here that I've never gotten around to doing
8. take my camera everywhere and document stuff so J doesn't feel so out of the loop
9. send the best care packages ever

I hate resolutions. But right now I hate everything around and about me - my job, our apartment, my lack of healthy choices. I guess no time like now.

And we're back....

2008-12-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

You know, that last post was a bit strained. My peeps (ahem) have been bugging me to start blogging again, but I just didn't know what to say. Three seconds after I uploaded the last post I stumbled onto this:

And now I'm speechless not because I don't have anything to say, but because I have too much. And none of it is very nice. Excuse me while I stop my brain from exploding.

Money money money money.

2008-12-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

I've been spending money like a redneck who just won the lottery. Well, not really, but I could certainly do better - pay off some credit cards etc. But since this is the first time in my life that I have a job that pays relatively well, and a new apartment to make "homey," it's been a bit tough holding back. Plus, it's my first holiday season as a "married person" and I want the house to look DONE when J gets back from his field exercise next week. Here's hoping.

Why oh why is every print on Etsy so effing infantile? What is this cultural obsession with 40 year old men acting like frat boys (Forgetting Sara Marshall, Knocked Up, etc.) and grown women buying into all the kitsch??? If I have to see another kewpie - looking portrait, or another drawing with some sort of heart motif. or another fantasy/vampire/wanna be pin up girl print, or another screen print of a g-damn bunny I will vomit all over the keyboard. What the hell are those of us who want non-bare walls to do? Sigh.

P.S. I wanted to post examples of what I'm talking about, but decided against it. Because "artists" who have zero taste may still have feelings. Also, I really don't want to get sued.

Good girl

2008-09-09T09:52:00.000-07:00

How cute is Posh's new haircut? I wish I could pull this off...

Bueno!

2008-09-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

There is a little auto mechanic shop in Fontana (yes I was in Fontana) named "Si Se Puede Smog Check." I laughed out loud, but then realized that at least they were using the phrase in its natural way. For those of you who don't know, Wikipedia says this:

Sí, se puede (Spanish for "Yes, It can be done!" or "Yes, you (formal) can do it!") is the motto of the United Farm Workers. In 1972, during Cesar Chavez's 25 day fast Phoenix, Arizona, he and UFW's co-founder, Dolores Huerta came up with the slogan.^[1] in

The phrase has been widely adopted by other labor unions and civil rights organizations and drew widespread political and media attention as a rallying cry during the 2006 U.S. immigration reform protests

I, for one, would love to take my car to "Yes, it can be done!" smog check. Yes, please. I would not, however, love to go to a United Farmworkers rally.

Wedding teaser

2008-09-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

We did it! The wedding has finally come and gone (pictures will be posted soon), and it was a success (with all the little dramas of the day, at the end of it all we are married, after all). At this point, it is still all a giant blur. I don't remember much of the ceremony, except it being very funny at moments, like when I almost fell walking down the slippery aisle, or when I couldn't get J's ring onto his finger, or when we both started repeating after the Rabbi when we were not supposed to. No wedding is perfect, but it's the little things that make it "yours."

We had very little time for pictures, b/c the hair and makeup took soooo long. The groomsmen were rowdy, and very hard to get them to stand still. J's family is huge, and to get them all into a picture was an adventure, so by the time all that was done we had almost no time for portraits. The photographer was amazing, and she snapped some photos of just the two of us later in the night, outside by a fountain and a fireplace, so hopefully those will turn out well.

My dad's toast was hilarious. I don't know if he got the "toast, not roast" concept, but it worked. Everyone was cracking up and tearing up at the same time. My beautiful bridesmaids all spoke, and each one made me cry. J's boys also did well - he has amazing friends who really love him a lot, and it showed.

The hora was out of control. I never thought that many people would participate, but I swear the entire wedding was out on the dance floor, surrounding us in circles. Once the chairs were up in the air, it was absolutely insane. The sheer terror of falling, combined with watching everyone dance around us was totally surreal and wonderful.

At the end of it all, what we really wanted was a good party. Lots of yummy food, great music (the DJ was a superstar!) and an open bar didn't hurt, either. The last few hours of the reception were my absolute favorite. All our friends and immediate family stuck around til the very end, drinking, dancing, goofing off. There was an impromptu rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody by all the guys, a chorus of "I got friends in low places" and a hilarious serenade of "You've lost that loving feeling." Faith and Ryan performed their gift to us, an interpretive dance set to "Power of love" by Huey Lewis. We laughed so hard we almost cried. I was dancing around with bottles of beer in my well-manicured hands.

I wish it lasted longer. I wish we could repeat it over and over, so that I wouldn't miss a single moment. I wish there were 500 cameras following us around all day. But at the end of the day, I have a husband who loves me in a way I've always wanted to be loved, and whom I adore to the moon and the stars. I couldn't have asked for more.

It's hot in hell...and lonely!

2008-08-15T14:10:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feel like my life will never be "normal," whatever that may mean. I want calmness, stability, and predictability, with a good dose of fun thrown in. Instead, I have constant upheavals - the Bar, planning a wedding, moving, etc.

J and I have moved into our new apartment in Corona, CA. It was affordable, it's closer to the base where J is stationed, and not too far from OC where all my friends are. The move has been relatively easy - everything works, and I now have cable and internet. The new couch arrives today! But I still feel uneasy. Planning a wedding to an active duty military guy is not something I would recommend, especially with the current status of world affairs. I keep worrying about him not being able to make the wedding constantly. Needless to say, this has not made for an enjoyable pre-wedding period. More than anything, I'm pissed off that I don't even get to enjoy THIS. But that's the price we pay. I keep telling myself that I knew what I was getting into, I "let" him enlist, and I'm so proud of him. But no amount of foresight can ever prepare you for what actually happens. The constant worry, not knowing if your future husband will even make his own wedding because of something stupid, missing him like crazy, not being able to be in the same household even after we are married, all of that is inhumanely difficult. Thank G*d for my girls - you all are awesome, even if it wouldn't hurt you to drive out here to the boonies and visit :-)

On a brighter note, tomorrow is my bachelorette fiasco. We're going out to dinner and then to a "wine lounge." And Steph has just asked me whether me wearing "anything with male genitalia" on it is out of the question. Stay tuned for more, including photos!

Wedding update

2008-08-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

The Bar is over. The wedding crunch is here. Here is what has happened in the last couple of weeks:
1. My wedding planner (whom I adored) at the hotel had to go into emergency surgery and is not back at work. Another planner is supposed to take over for her.
2. My Rabbi canceled due to a "family event" he could not get out of...2 days before the bar. I've found a replacement Rabbi, hope she works out.
3. My florist has been "promoted" at the florist company and is no longer my florist. The owner does not have a clue who will take over for him, but I'm assured it will be fine. I may have believed her, but she had no idea what kind of flowers they were supposed to be using, nor anything else that I've discussed with my original florist.

If any of my other vendors decide to get promoted, get sick, or have a family event to got to...please tell me BEFORE THE EFFING WEDDING!!!!

P.S. I (think) I have stayed as calm as possible considering everything. But I now see why some brides may get ridiculously overstressed. Here's a suggestion: the only person who is allowed to call a bride "bridezilla" is the bride herself. Unless she is being a monumental bitch, cut the girl some slack. Because while wedding planning is fun and exciting, it is also incredibly stressful. And this comment in no way suggests that I have been called "bridezilla" by my near and dear. Just a general comment on the status of affairs.

Oh what the !#!

2008-07-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

Shiz. I haven't posted since April. Well. I guess I have some catching up to do. I've been MIA mainly b/c so much crap is going on that I feel like I can never post enough to cover it all, and I become paralyzed at the prospect. Let me catch you up. I passed my last set of finals, graduated law school, planned a wedding (mostly) and am now 2 days away from taking the California Bar. Just typing that made me exhausted, I may require a nap now. More details to follow after the test to end all tests.

This is why it is worth it

2008-04-27T18:22:00.001-07:00

I'm in full-on finals mode. J is in the kitchen doing nasty, crusty dishes. He's also doing laundry at the same time. This morning he brought me IHOP breakfast take-out. Then he brought me Jamba Juice and went grocery shopping. Yesterday he picked up chinese. On Friday night I was craving frozen yogurt when all the yogurt shops were already closed. So he went to the store and got me ice cream and raspberries. Weekends like this make me wonder how I manage to tie my own shoes when he's not around. Sure, I'm capable of taking care of myself - I do it 95% of the time. The other 5% is priceless.

It's too late for Earth Day

2008-04-24T16:42:00.000-07:00

I love the Earth as much as the next human being living on it (DUH). I venture into Whole Foods, I don't litter etc. etc. When these sorta cute "I'm not a Plastic Bag" bags came out a while ago I briefly thought about getting one (very very briefly). But then I saw the second version online somewhere. Much more my style. The girl who thought this up can be my friend any time.

I couldn't help myself

2008-04-23T17:17:00.001-07:00

I highly dislike Mariah Carey. That's to put it lightly. So when I saw this picture, after vomiting in my mouth a little, I had to post it. What the eff is going on in this photo?
1. She knows how big the pic will be and is thus trying to fit her whole body into it. [hahaha when I first typed this I typed "hole"]
2. She is bending over so the photographer has a good shot of her enormous cleavage.
3. Her "skirt" is so short, she didn't wear underpants and is trying to avoid flashing her "South Florida." This is the least likely option as I'm pretty sure no one wears "skirts" this short unless they WANT everyone to see their "South Florida."

SKANK.

Photo by Humberto Carreno/Startraks from People.com

Oh no she di'int!

2008-04-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

I got tagged. I got tagged good by Faithsalutes. As I'm in the midst of finals panic, I can't promise this will be very entertaining. So here's the story. To make it a bit more interesting, I will come up with some half-assed crazy things about myself, then I will ask J to come up with his best "top crazy things about Helen." I'm sure he can come up with many, many more than 6. I will post them all in a future post to make up for my lame ones. So here it goes.

The rules:

* link to the person that tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
* tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
* let each random person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Here it goes.

1. I procrastinate by telling myself that I cannot concentrate on work until the house (or at least my room) is clean. Whatever. At least the cleaning gets done.

2. Up until my late teens I used to eat apples and pears whole. I'd munch on the core and swallow the seeds. People made fun of me. I had no idea why - why waste deliciousness?

3. I have never cheated on a test. I think the guilt would kill me.

4. I judge people by whether they put their bare feet up on my coffee table. Only the select few can get away with it, and even then it totally grosses me out.

5. I don't think bathroom humor is at all funny. I also judge people by whether they find it funny.

6. I print out or bookmark numerous recipes that I swear I'm going to cook. I have only made one dish from all of those. I keep telling myself (and J) that it is because I don't have the appropriate kitchen gadgets or the correct size of pot/dish/skillet. I feel smug when he seemingly buys it.

I'm tagging (I have 4 friends with blogs. So sue me):
Steph
Jen
Kristina
Alethea

Martha Martha Martha

2008-04-19T15:13:00.000-07:00

I need to make these. I don't bake - major dilemma! Maybe starting with a souffle is not the best idea? How cute are these, though? Get the recipe here. And if you make it I want a taste!

Photo courtesy of MarthaStewart.com

Uh...hello? Anyone there?

2008-04-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

Will blog soon. Promise. A month of craziness = no motivation to blog. I will be back (with a vengeance)!

What I will not be watching on friday night

2008-03-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

Um. Netflix has gone insane. Something called "Breastford Wives" is in its new comedy releases. For your reading pleasure, here is the description of the "comedy":

"Taylor Wane and Glori-Anne Gilbert star in this erotic Stepford Wives takeoff. After moving to quiet Breastford, Rob and Laura are visited by the town's luscious and insatiable Women's Association. The Breastford wives' libidos are in overdrive, and Rob and Laura set out to uncover the truth … no matter what it takes. Only the town's controlling mayor knows the secret behind the ladies' wanton behavior."

I think I figured out what I want to do after law school. I want to be the person who writes captions for "comedies."

Now's she really done it

2008-02-23T09:32:00.000-08:00

As if we all need more reasons to hate Rachel Ray. Today, I stumbled onto her website b/c of a pic of Ray with Sarah Michelle Gellar that freaked me out. My girl crush on SMG has been documented before, but as of now she's skating on very thin ice. And this is a direct result of glancing at the Ray's page. Here is why. Check it out. Witness the tabs at the top: "Rach home," "the Rach blog (!!!)," "Rach's charity," as well as a tab for "Yum-O." I do not have the energy to actually click on the "Yum-O" tab, and perhaps that is for the best. I am a bit surprised that underneath all the "Rach" tabs it does not say "Rach is short for Rachel Ray." After all, she has to explain that "EVOO" stands for "extra virgin olive oil" every effing time she uses the acronym. There may be some of us who need to know what "Rach" stands for. Right?

Photo courtesy of Gellarfan.org
(I'm wary of getting sued by "Rach" in case I'm not allowed to be negative)

Food Porn

2008-02-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

I stumbled on the Sunday Nite Dinner blog this morning. Holy guacamole! Browse around, the pics and the recipes are insane. Yum yum yum. Plus, they have step-by-step instructions and photos of each step!

How many lawyers does it take to get off an island?

2008-02-16T17:56:00.001-08:00

You know those nights where just about everything is funny? Last night was one of those. A bunch of us went to a house party thrown by our friend Joel. Joel's house is in Newport Beach/Costa Mesa area, right past Triangle Square. So we caravan over there, a bunch of ppl piled into 2 cars. We pull over to park, and there is the largest sobriety check point known to man across the street from Joel's. No worries, as we are a pretty responsible bunch, but we do think it's pretty funny. And the check point was HUGE. The street was blocked off, there was about 50+ cops out there, those ginormous stadium lights, and a drunk tank. Not only that, but the Newport Beach Police Department sent out a press release regarding this very checkpoint earlier in the week! So this is literally the MOTHER of all checkpoints. Anyways. We go to Joel's, fun is had by all. I have my 2.5 beers, we laugh, we make fun of ppl, the usual. When it is time to leave, we are very much aware that the checkpoint is still there. Now our driver, Nicole, is totally sober. The rest of us are very close to sober. Responsible law students! The car is parked literally on the other side of the street from the checkpoint. We get in the car, aware that we are being watched by the entire Newport Beach police force, and drive forward. We need to turn around to get back home, but none of us want to deal with the checkpoint. So we decide to take side streets. And this is where it gets good. The Newport-Costa Mesa border is literally a bunch of twisty-turney little streets, a maze of beach apartment complexes. And we get lost. We drive around narrow alleys for a good 20 minutes. There are dead ends. All the alleys look alike. We have no idea how to get out. It's like Bourne Identity, minus Matt Damon, but with a car full of shrieking idiots. I don't think I've laughed that hard in a very long time. And then one of us brilliantly remembers that we went over a tiny bridge at one point! Apparently we were stuck on some sort of island, driving around in circles, trying to avoid a checkpoint. Yes. An island. Somehow, we got back over the bridge, and eventually found our way out of the maze. Good times were had by all. And hats off to Nicole! Thanks for driving!

Oh my God...Becky look at her butt!

2008-02-09T11:38:00.001-08:00

This is awesomeness. They just don't make music like that anymore. And it's such a shame! Thanks to Jen from the Jennsylvania blog for alerting the world to this wonder. And kids, hurry, because this "Platinum Badonkadonk Edition" is not available in stores. (is that how you spell "badonkadonk"?)

I saw it on Oprah

2008-02-08T23:37:00.000-08:00

Run out right now and buy this stuff. Yum. Tastes like real ice cream - and it's 14o calories! I'm hooked.

YES

2008-02-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

For all you Project Runway fans out there - Victoria Beckham is going to be the guest judge for the finals!!! Love her. She's proof incarnate that sometimes, even if very seldom, money CAN buy style. And I have to respect that she is literally a caricature of herself. If that's not brilliant, I don't know what is.

Photos courtesy of Star Tracks

I miss her!

2008-02-08T01:33:00.001-08:00

Yes. I am well aware that it is trendy to hate Gwyneth Paltrow. There are numerous things about her that annoy me too. But she has that "something" that very few actresses possess. Love her or hate her, the girl can dress! And it is refreshing to see someone so "Hollywood" refuse to feed into the starlet machine. And seeing photos of her at the Gucci event this past week only reminded why she was, at one point, my absolute favorite.

Photos courtesy of www.justjared.com

Details, details

2008-02-08T00:30:00.000-08:00

The only thing I've figured out about my wedding is what "look" I'm going for. The dress has been ordered, and now it is time for the "little things." Which we all know are never really "little" - as the saying goes, "the devil is in the details." Here is some stuff that I really like. I guess I have a vintage-y theme emerging. And oh how I love those blue shoes!!! The Fantana hairpin is stunning, but it is $250! I do have a budget...

7 weeks to go!!!!

2008-02-06T17:27:00.001-08:00

I got the best news ever. He's coming back and very soon! Can't post the exact date, but think mid-March. I hope they don't change it now!!!

Netflix is taking over my brain

2008-02-01T10:03:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make. I have a HUGE girl crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar. There, I said it. I also hate horror movies, so I have not seen her on the big screen in ages, since she's been doing those stupid scary Grudge movies. So I was really excited to order Suburban Girl on Netflix. Granted, it went straight to DVD, and granted Alec Baldwin is in it, I thought I'd take a chance. I don't really know whether I liked or hated it. I waver. I'm very disappointed in the fact that it could've been really good - the screen play was decent, I can see what they were trying to do, but it just did not work on screen. I have never seen 2 people have less chemistry than Sarah Michelle and the Baldwin. She was probably completely disgusted at having to make out with a bloated oaf. Hence the lack of screen chemistry. But isn't this something the movie people should've screen-tested before production? Lame. And oh, Hollywood? Just for future reference, Alec Baldwin is great in 30 Rock - precisely b/c he plays a bloated oaf, and he's got great comedic chops. But the time of casting him as a leading man is OVER (if there ever was such a time at all). So just stop.

I want...

2008-01-30T12:25:00.000-08:00

My obsession with cupcakes has no bounds. I'm seriously considering wedding cupcakes in addition to a smallish wedding cake. When all the fancy cupcake bakeries started popping up everywhere my obsession was finally validated. Imagine my glee when I saw the following items on Crate and Barrel's website:

It better be a nice handbasket

2008-01-26T23:59:00.000-08:00

Anti-smoking commercials make me want to light up. Thinking about exercise makes me want to sleep. Reading about how bad preservatives/hormones/pesticides/meat products are for my health makes me go and microwave a Pepperoni and Sausage Lean Pocket. I'm a rebel, I tell you. Without a cause. Or shame.

Riiiiiight

2008-01-26T11:25:00.001-08:00

I love beauty products. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a total product junkie. But this is ridiculous. It's $200!!!! For hair treatment oil! I think the marketers thought using verbiage like "affects change at the surface cuticle, the inner cortex, and the core medulla levels of the hair shaft" will make women forget the price tag. Personally, I did not know that my core medulla levels were inadequate. So sue me. If anyone has tried this and can explain to me why it's so freaking expensive I will retract my indignation.

Ted Gibson "Goodnite Hair Repair Serum" photo courtesy of Sephora.com. And I cannot get this f-ing post to look normal. The font situation is not good. Blogger is being "mentally challenged." I give up.

Best thing since sliced bread

2008-01-26T10:43:00.000-08:00

I signed up for Netflix. Finally. And I don't know why I hadn't done it before. I love love love movies, I hate hate hate paying $11+ to see one in a crowded theater. Exhibit one: when we saw 27 Dresses last week, it was $10.50 for a "student" ticket - more than that for a normal one. We sat in good seats, but were promptly joined by 2 hobos who proceeded to mumble through the entire thing. The man hobo got up 100 times, brought back food for the female hobo, who was wearing a night shirt and smelled like a sewer. I'd rather watch movies in my own living room, hence the decision to sign up for Netflix. Plus, there are hundreds of movies that are not in the theaters anymore that I'd love to see, and hundreds that I don't want to see enough to pay ticket prices for, but still want to watch. Because my life is so boring right now, I will play movie reviewer, in case my 2 readers care.

(1) Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly. Blah. It was OK enough, I guess. The guy playing Mr. Darcy was completely miscast. Colin Firth he was not. Not good looking enough, and this guy only had one facial expression = constipated. Like a blank wall. Keira was decent, but not great - it's like she and the other actors didn't know what to do with the bland Darcy, and thus everyone else in the movie was overacting. Final grade = 3 out of 5.

(2) Marie Antoinette with Kirsten Dunst. Let me preface this by saying i HATE Kirsten Dunst. But the movie I did not hate. It was gorgeously filmed, well-directed. The clothes and colors were gorgeous. Sort of a weird combo of period drama and a modern indie flick. I liked the idea, although I don't necessarily think it worked out all that well. And Molly freakin Shannon was in it as one of the courtiers. Good to know that Molly Shannon only has one character she can play. Herself. Final grade = 3.5

Next up, Waitress. This one better be good!

P.S. I'd like to give a quick shout out to Steph, who provided the Sprinkles cupcakes for the movie extravaganza. Sprinkles never fails in putting me in a sugar coma. What the hell do they put in that frosting, crack?

Update: Waitress was awesome! Love love love. My girl crush on Keri Russell is fully rekindled.

My bridesmaids better be nice to me

2008-01-23T11:17:00.000-08:00

On Monday, the girlies and I went to see 27 Dresses. With my current mood, I haven't felt like seeing anything other than chick flicks in a while. So this one came at a perfect time! And as far as chick flicks go, it was good. Frothy, cute boys, relatively cute clothing. I've had a girl crush on Katherine Heigl for a while now (a crush not shared by Jonathan, who's just plain weird). But I gotta tell you, they really succeeded in making her look like the dowdy sister. That brown hair was atrocious. And the makeup was not good. Matted and muddy is not a good look on anyone. And half of the wardrobe...gross! Laura Ashley prints??? Katherine!!!! I'm so glad you're back to your normal blonde and glowy self. And if I were you, I'd kick the make up artist on that movie in the groin.

Painter of kitch

2008-01-21T13:55:00.001-08:00

I saw an ad for this thing in some magazine a while ago, and almost threw up.

Can someone explain the Thomas Kinkade obsession to me? WTF? He sells his shit at "galleries" at the mall!!! Painter of light? I'm all about American culture. I love it. I do. But this crap is literally what is wrong with America. How anyone can consider this "art" is beyond me. Just as I cannot forgive certain rappers for infecting their own "culture" by glorifying violence, drug use, and hatred of women, I cannot forgive this so-called "painter" for infecting the mall-going middle America with this absolutely ludicrous excuse for "art." Thoughts?

"Have a happy period."

2008-01-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to blog about this for a looooong time, but kept forgetting. This commercial drives me INSANE. I want to laugh, cry, and call my Congressman (woman? Who is my Congressman/woman?). African girls are missing school because they don't have American tampons??? Who is dumb enough to fall for this? The rest of the world gets by. For thousands of years women got by. Surely there are other ways to deal with that one week out of the month? This has to be the most flagrant, self aggrandizing piece of propaganda couched in "save the world" sentimentality. I guess all it takes to send African girls to school is tampons. I don't know why we haven't figured that one out before! If you don't donate/send tampons/whatever you are depriving these girls of an education! Stingy stingy stingy. For some reason, I think stopping the ongoing waives of genocide happening all over the continent is going to do much more for these girls' education than tampons. Call me crazy. Or call your Congressman (or woman. If it's a woman, ask her to send over some feminine hygiene products).

Project Awesome

2008-01-18T10:57:00.000-08:00

I, like millions of other people, religiously watch Project Runway. Always. Every week. I DVR it, I watch it without commercial interruptions, sometimes I even watch it again. And I gotta tell you, this season has been less than impressive. I relatively like almost all of the designers, obviously some more than others. But there was no one I had super strong feelings about all season. And the clothes up until now have been sort of blah and disappointing. I think that is partly due to the fact that the challenges have been lame. Menswear? Who cares. Remaking fat-girl clothes? Stupid. The prom dress challenge could've been good, but the results (the clothes) were atrocious. Except for Sweet P's champagne silk gown (not shown).

(Photos courtesy of Bravotv.com)

And then they came up with THIS. When I heard that it was going to be an avant garde challenge, I knew it was sink or swim. If you can't pull this off, then you have no business calling yourself a designer. But holy shit! How freaking amazing was Chris and Christian's design? I literally gasped. So did Nina. I've never seen her gasp. And the girlies, Jillian and Victoria (who bugs the living crap out of me) did very well also. The coat is amazing! Finally, Project Runway is living up to its reputation. Here's hoping next week's challenge brings us something good!

Update: Forgot to mention that my usual M.O., when watching Project Runway is to sit on the couch, making snarky comments about what I'm seeing to my roommate, and if I'm really lucky, I bring in my laptop and shoot comments back and forth with Faithsalutes. Perfect way to spend the evening.

Here we go again

2008-01-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

...and I'm back. Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but I've been in the black hole of laziness that is my parents' house in the Bay Area. Let me sum up my vacation. Sleep - eat - read - eat - sleep - eat - read etc. I didn't even watch TV! Oh how I needed that. School starts on Tuesday, and I'm ready to get my last semester over with...and I'm mentally preparing for the Bar. Blah.
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There was ONE thing that happened over the last two weeks - I got a wedding dress! It was by sheer dumb luck. It was not what I was looking for, but apparently what I was originally looking for was a horrible idea. Which just goes to show you - gotta try shiz on. I would've never picked this dress based on what it looked like on the hanger. But now I can't imagine wearing anything else.

Ladies, I gotta tell you. This wedding dress search/try on extravaganza is crazy. Some salespeople take themselves VERY seriously. God bless the poor lady who almost wept as she forced a TIARA (!) on my head, and then a long veil. Y'all know me - do I look like I wear tiaras or veils???? I literally had to pry her hands off my head. When I tell you I don't want a tiara I mean it.

And one other thing I've learned from the experience - apparently when the salesperson asks you "what do you want to look like" the correct answer is "like a princess." That is the only acceptable answer. I guess everyone (except for me and at least one other very stylin' lady that I know, you know who you are) wants to be a freaking princess. Why, I have no idea. Can someone explain this to me? Is it Disney's fault? Daddy issues?
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Oh yeah. I can cross some stuff off my "to do/to see/to read" lists. Juno = awesomeness. Loved it. L-O-V-E-D. I finally read "Love in the Time of Cholera" and I don't see what the big deal is. I am a big fan of classic epic love stories, but this one just did not do anything for me. Sorry to Mr. Marquez, I hope he and his Nobel Prize for literature are very happy together.

Ok now it feels like vacation

2007-12-21T23:34:00.000-08:00

I just got back from an all-girls all-perfection day of fun. First of all, my hilarious friend Bridget is home for the holidays. We went to UCLA together, and she is too freaking funny for words. The girl deferred Harvard Law for two years and is now spending that "time off" at the London School of Economics. Shiza! But despite all the brainpower, she is literally pee-in-your-pants funny. And gets along with absolutely anyone and everyone. Her and I met up with my usual girl crew at the most obnoxious Orange County mall - Southcoast Plaza, and we terrorized that place for like 5 hours. It was awesomeness at its best. No one really bought anything, but we walked around, made fun of everything and everyone, and just had a generally incredible time. Happy holidays!

Oldy but goody

2007-12-19T23:41:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but I thought of this website tonight. It's been around forever, but the idea still makes me crack up. Check it out if you haven't yet.

Cats that look like Hitler

Booyah!

2007-12-19T23:26:00.000-08:00

Haaaaaaaah! Such small things bring me so much joy sometimes. Let me back up for a moment. Jen and I live above a (and we're pretty sure of this) real life crack whore. She's got a different dude over there almost every week, and she goes into her garage (which is in a different building) in a bathrobe on a regular basis and shuts the garage door. We're positive she's doing drugs. We've had issues with this biotch and her spawn since we've moved in a year and a half ago. At one point they were having nightly screaming matches which consisted of him whining and crying, and her screaming at the top of her rotted out lungs that she "fucking hates" him, that he's a "fucking little bastard" (she's got a point there) and that he "has ruined her life." She allows him to have like 10 delinquent buddies over, and then screams at all of them to "get the f*&*ck out of my house" at 3am.

Anyways. After MULTIPLE complaints to the overpaid and incompetent management, they've gotten several stern talkings-to and letters. The latest info we have is that they've gotten their last warning - as in if we complain one more time they're getting evicted. I don't believe this will happen, as they've already gotten an eviction notice once, but then the bitch cried to the management about how she's a single mom and blah blah blah, the manager felt sorry for her but assured us that it was the last time. Since then, things are more quiet, but still not normal.

Which brings me to about 5 minutes ago. The little f*&*cker was screwing around with his buddies (it's almost midnight), throwing them into the walls and what-have-you, causing a general ruckus. I got fed up and went into Jen's room where I proceeded to jump up and down several times, making the floor (and their ceiling) shake. Hahahaha. Two seconds later the mom/crack whore started screaming at the little bastard to shut the hell up etc. Small victory for me. As I said, little things make me happy.

A bit Stepford, no?

2007-12-18T23:58:00.000-08:00

If I had a "real" job, this is what I'd wear....

I'm shocked. Shocked and...oh who the eff am I kidding?

2007-12-18T16:31:00.000-08:00

What's with the Spears-females ovaries? Or, more appropriately, uteri (plural of uterus?) Is there a birth control pill shortage in wherever the hell they are getting sperminated? Latex allergies? We know that ain't true for the bald one...
WTF is wrong with them?

And on a different note...enough with the gay porn ads on PerezHilton.com. I get it. You're gay. Congratulations. I'm over the gay porn. And straight porn for that matter.

Blog post #245 (today)

2007-12-17T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm often asked why my family left the Soviet Union. Exhibit D: these dolls, which are apparently Russian-made.

Writers strike = The Office withdrawals

2007-12-17T11:14:00.000-08:00

For your viewing pleasure:

Domestic goddess I am not...

2007-12-17T10:37:00.001-08:00

My friend Kristina, whom I haven't talked to since college blogged about her awesome Christmas present. Interestingly enough, I've been drooling over the exact same thing for ages...and will definitely ask for one as a wedding present. How freaking awesome are these???

I know you're all jealous

2007-12-17T10:11:00.000-08:00

Justice Clarence Thomas is going to be at my law school today for a big event...and I get to meet him (hopefully). Yay! Keep watching for an update. On a different note, I L-O-V-E this Dryel home dry cleaning shiz that I got. It even "refreshed" my suit that I'm wearing to give J. Thomas his props later on! Thanks to Dryel, I will be smellin' F-R-E-S-H instead of N-A-S-T-Y. I'm sure the Secret Service will appreciate my efforts.

No comprende

2007-12-17T00:59:00.000-08:00

Can someone explain to me what the BFD is with Dolce and Gabbana? I don't get it. To me, it's all atrocious, or skanky, or (most of the time) both. Exhibit A: does that look pretty to you? Classy? Stylish? Original? Anything positive at all?

The search continues

2007-12-12T23:39:00.001-08:00

I just looked through about 1600 photos of wedding dresses. Not joking. And out of those, how many did I like? 2. And even those 2 were so-so. I'm walking down the isle nekkid. Which would probably be much appreciated.
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Can I just get married in this? It's on sale for $199!

...and I guess that's why they call it "the blues."

2007-12-11T22:55:00.001-08:00

Maybe old Elton John wasn't the greatest idea right now. Blah. Now I'm all depressed. I feel like I cannot get out of this "finals period" which is over 3 weeks this semester. Good God! I like that I have time between finals but I just want them over, and they just keep going and going. Get me out of here!

I've been really good this deployment. I don't listen to sad music (unlike during bootcamp which was a baaaad idea). I try not to dwell. But some days are just blah. And J's team has been running a crazy schedule the last few days, so no calls, only one little email telling me not to worry etc. BLAH. I want a call damn it! Poor guys hasn't slept in days and I'm the one whining. Go figure.

Ahhhhh....

2007-12-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

I don't really have anything to add.

Team Cayton update

2007-12-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

J's company got new phones put in! Now instead of ONE per thousand (or howmanyever guys there are in a company) there are SEVERAL phones. And since his platoon is on night watch most of the time he gets to call! I'm so excited I could burst. It's weird hearing his voice on a regular basis now, it makes it seem like he's on a business trip or something. Like our lives are almost normal.

Bring back the assless chaps!

2007-11-29T13:34:00.001-08:00

I really want to blog about this. So much to say. I am gathering my thoughts.....more to come later.
OK, I've thought about it, and as much as I want to give her props or whatever, I just can't do it. I don't like pregnant naked photos of ANYONE, not even "classy" ones if that's at all possible, which I don't think it is. But this one just looks awful. What the hell was she/her stylist/her publicist thinking??? Makeup has crossed the tranny line a long time ago, but whoever styled her for this atrocity should've toned it down. Naked +leather jacket = Jersey street walker. And the pose...that's what I'd imagine the hookers in the Red Light district windows look like when trying to sell their "goods." Nasty. I don't get it. Such a cute girl, very talented, seems to be very happy with a nice guy...why couldn't she just keep going in the classy direction she has been going in lately?

P.S. I also think women who breast feed in plain view in Vegas buffets should be scolded. True story.

P.P.S. I also find it extremely funny that this photo is framed by such headlines as "The busy girl's guide to a busy body," "I said no to sex and got sexier," "Tanning, bleaching, botoxing: Are you obsessed?" [which the Fug girls have already brilliantly pointed out] and, my personal favorite: "How I learned to love the mother I hated." Sweet irony.

Does this make me a bad person?

2007-11-29T13:21:00.001-08:00

I feel really crappy about it, but also kind of gleeful. My friends and I saw Jennifer Love Hewitt at the pool at the Pasadena Ritz this past September. And we just could not get over how cute she looked - all glowy and perfect. Mind you, she was wearing track pants and a bikini top. I have a bit of a celebrity obsession, and like every other girl I know, I compare myself to people whose job it is to be gorgeous. Lame. So.....imagine my ill-placed glee when pictures of JLoveHew surfaced this week...pics of her with a huge amount of cellulite! I will not post those here, because that would be tacky. And I feel bad for feeling smug....but it also feels good to be reminded that most people are not perfect, even those that you think are. According to the story accompanying the photos, she just got engaged to her boyfriend. So congrats to JLove! And I'm sorry I'm an asshat.

Weekend

2007-11-28T11:41:00.000-08:00

Vegas. With the parents. And the aunt and uncle. Good times. Lots of buffets and junk food/cigarettes/not so much alcohol.
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This is for you. The Barbie-looking drunk chick that sat behind me at the Cirque du Soleil Beatles show with her guido-looking boyfriend. Have some freaking class and shut the F*CK UP when you're in a theater! The tickets are $140 and I did not pay that money to hear YOUR drunken tirades about how much you just loooove the Beatles. I do not want to hear your commentary of every costume and musical selection. And yes, I was serious when I turned around mid-show and told you to keep it down. Don't look so shocked and appalled. You're lucky I didn't have your skanky-nasty-bleached blond-entire Mac counter makeup wearing ass thrown out for being obnoxious. I was very close.
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The Beatles Cirque du Soleil show: kinda lame! It was pretty and all, the stage production was amazing (as all Cirque setups are). But it was in no way worth $140 per freaking ticket. It was basically glorified dancing to Beatles songs. Not much "cirque" at all - maybe a couple of rope climbers here and there. Overall disappointment. I wanted to see all the cool circus stuff the other Cirque shows have... but apparently they were going for the kitsch mass appeal factor. Just another reason to have a ridiculous gift shop with overpriced Yellow Submarine boxer shorts. LAME. John Lennon is turning over in his grave.

It's all fun and games until someone starts foaming at the mouth

2007-11-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

So today, on happy happy Turkey day, I went to Jonathan's aunt's house where I met up with with my future in laws and assorted family members. My parents are driving to Vegas tomorrow morning, where I will meet them. Aunt Ida's is always fun and pretty much insane. There are always like 50 people over there, and tons of food, and kids, and dogs and lots and lots of wine and Smirnoff Ice (YES). Usually, it's the same people that I always expect, but this time someone's aunt/sister/something or other was there with her husband. During the end of the night, we were trying to fit the entire bunch of people into one picture to send to Jonathan...we were laughing about how difficult it was to fit everyone in etc. when the aunt/sister/something or other had a seizure! Like full on foam at the mouth, turning blue, speaking tongues! The ambulance came, she was taken to the hospital and I'm hoping all is well. How random is that? I feel really bad for the poor lady, and I'm probably going straight to hell for thinking that (1) the situation is semi-ridiculous thus morbidly amusing and (2) thank ___ that it wasn't one of the people I've come to know so well. Having said that...I'm going to go pack. I hear hell is hot this time of year.
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When I got home from the turkey orgy, I ate an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm snickerdoodles. And then I promptly decided that I need to get back on the work out horse before I become one of those girls who hides family size packs of Oreos in the closet and eats them when no one is looking late at night while listening to some love-yourself Alicia Keys ballad. I've been meaning to start doing yoga again for a while, and now is as good time as any. So I did a full 45 min workout...it felt amazing, as yoga always does. Let's see how long I can keep this up.
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Jon wrote me 2 emails on Tuesday, and then he...called! Like an actual phone conversation! I won't go into all the gloriously mushy details, but he's doing well, they're relatively safe etc. It was so good to have an actual conversation with him where we laughed about stuff, and talked about the news/movies etc. That was only my 3rd phone call in 3 months...and as much as I love my very frequent email contact there's nothing like hearing his voice. I love that man.

More dresses

2007-11-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

Say a little prayer for me...

2007-11-18T22:23:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the day of my final trial in Trial Practice class. I've been working on it nonstop and have now come to the conclusion that it is hopeless. The fact pattern is just confusing, and full of unexpected pitfalls. Oh well, I'm just glad that it will be over tomorrow night. Oh yeah, and I have not written my closing argument yet. I plan on getting up early and starting with a fresh mind. Riiiight.

If I had a million dollars (actually a million is not enough)

2007-11-16T23:27:00.000-08:00

Why can't I have a life where I can wear this? John Galliano Spring '08.Or this? John Galliano for Christian Dior Spring '08.
And how cute is this? Dior fine jewelry.

MJ

2007-11-16T00:20:00.001-08:00

I love MJ. No, not Michael Jackson, not Mary Jane from Spiderman, and not even Michael Jordan. I love Marc Jacobs. There, I said it. I'm a Marc Jacobs consumer whore. I am one of those people who would buy almost everything he makes, yet at this point I can only afford the occasional accessory and/or clearance item. But I still drool. And Marc Jacobs perfume is now officially the only scent I have bought more than once, and will probably continue to repurchase. Above are some pics from the Marc by Marc Jacobs Spring 2008 line (photos by Marcio Madeira). Love it. But I do not love the grown up ready-to-wear line at all! Oh well, even MJ can have a "miss" season. I'm sure all the fashion editors really care what my opinion is of clothing that I will never ever be able to afford. But I still do not love it, and thought I would share my dislike here. I get that the clothes will look different in the stores, and I can usually "get" the concept and see what it will look like on normal people (OK, on normal celebrities). But this time I just don't see it. It looks like beat up Chanel. And Karl Lagerfeld already does beat up Chanel. I think Marc went crazy with that one. Some of it was almost pretty, but just blah.
I still love him though, and you can read more about him here, in the recent New York Times article.

Early wedding present?

2007-11-15T23:36:00.000-08:00

I am totally asking for this menorah when I register for presents. And it's Jonathan Adler. And I don't care if he's "too commercial" or whatever. I love it. And I have no need to be all "indie" about my purchases. I can like something because it's pretty. So there. And then I will explain to my kids why we have both Hanukkah and Christmas. As soon as I figure out what the -bleep- to say. Any suggestions?

No title

2007-11-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

This is about that time of the year where my posts are going to start having a LOT of swearing in it. Or at least I'll be thinking a lot more swear words in my head when I'm typing them. Lets see here. We have finals in about 2 weeks. I have a trial on Monday I have yet to prep for, a law journal assignment due tomorrow, and several classes to cram for. One of such classes happens to be something I have yet to read for. Do you think it's too late? Yeah, me too.
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Our freaking DVR (it's like a Tivo) has been freaking out lately. If spazzed out last week and didn't record The Office, for which I will never forgive it. It also didn't record Gray's Anatomy, which was somewhat less sad. Today, it decided on a repeat performance and refused to record anything at all. In fact it refused to work. So now we just have regular TV. We get all the channels, but you can't switch between them by clicking around on the remote. Maybe it's the cable? Or a combination of the two? In either case this needs to get resolved. NOW.
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Thanksgiving is next week, and I've already been pigging out on pumpkin pie at every opportunity I get. Mmmmmm. This is the second year in a row when J's not going to be home for the holidays. And as much as it sucks for me, it will really suck for him, poor guy. They've promised him a Thanksgiving meal, and I'm pretty sure they will deliver, as long as his team isn't out on a mission at that exact time. Last year on Thanksgiving he got one of his only phone calls (the other one being Christmas) and he was so hoarse that I didn't recognize him at first. Plus we were both crying hysterically. Hopefully this year will be a bit better.

When he called me on Christmas day, I was home with the parents. My mom was very shocked by the fact that he called ME, and not his mom. I thought that was very funny because to me it was not shocking at all. I think that was when my parents finally realized how serious things have gotten. A lot of things happen in a year.

He's still waiting for the phones to be put in. They've been deployed for almost 3 months, and phone access is still miserable. Thank God for the Internet (I guess the entity I should really be thanking is Al Gore. Thank you Mr. Gore).
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My parents are going to Vegas the day after Thanksgiving. I am joining them for a couple of days, finals prep be damned. I will justify this by listening to my 10 hours of Wills and Trusts audio CDs, which will hopefully teach me Wills and Trusts. Yay me.

#$&@&!!!!

2007-11-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

Next semester will be my last school semester EVER. So naturally, I've been plotting to take it easy - have a few days a week off, take interesting yet easy classes. I had it all planned out, and amazingly the school schedule was cooperating. Today, a few hours before registration was to begin, the bastards switched a class that was fitting into my schedule perfectly and moved it to entirely different days!!!! Now I have to scramble to find classes, take stuff I do not want to take, etc. Who the *$%@ does that??? They couldn't figure out what days the classes were to be on BEFORE the day of registration??? Life sucks. And then you have to register for classes.

Victory is mine!

2007-11-11T23:12:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I've began to slowly replenish my closet...it's been very sad since I've cleaned it out. Here are my weekend finds.

2007-11-07T00:35:00.001-08:00

Are you bored? Lonely? Sadistic? Try these awesome cat-a-pults. Or how about throwing some baby showers?

I actually liked something on sale...weird!

2007-11-07T00:04:00.000-08:00

I cleaned out my closet about 2 weeks ago. And I mean CLEANED. Like there's nothing in there except empty space. I decided that I'm too old to own things I do not like, or have not worn in years. Hence the emptiness. I also decided that I will not buy things unless I absolutely love them. I will not buy stuff just because I want something new. I will not buy stuff just because it's cheap. I will buy stuff that I really like and will gladly wear. Only problem is that stuff I really like is also stuff I cannot afford. Which is why the closet is still empty - I've held up and not bought anything mediocre just because I need clothes. While at Target today buying printer ink and assorted odds and ends for a care package for Jonathan, I spotted the Alice Temperley rack. On which everything was on clearance - they're getting ready for Erin Featherston (I think). The only thing I liked is this dress....which was $27! And it fit...and it looks like Marc Jacobs (whom I love but definitely could not afford). Needless to say, it's mine :-)

Good thing I'm not an environmentalist

2007-11-06T18:42:00.000-08:00

My dad has always said that I single-handedly keep printers in business. I think he's right. I spend so much freaking money on magazines that it's kind of sick. And I keep telling myself that I'll subscribe, saving myself tons of money, because who am I kidding - I'll still need my magazine fix. Exhibit A - my Barnes and Noble rampage today. But I am researching the cheapest subscriptions tonight. There are websites where you can get one for like $5-10 per year...I've done it before, and I'm about to do it again. The insanity stops NOW.

FYI - This is what I got:

1. US Weekly
2. Shop Smart (I'm pretty sure they won't be suggesting not buying magazines)
3. Self (because I have to get in shape for a wedding, and reading Self gets me motivated for at least one workout...small price to pay)
4. Weight Watchers (see above...this makes me not eat blocks of cheese for about 2 days)
5. Blueprint (Martha Steward publication...she bugs me)
6. Body + Soul (MS again)
7. Martha Stewart Weddings
8. Domino (love love love)

Update: I did it! I got literally probably 15 magazines...one year subscriptions...all for waaay under $100. Money well spent. If you wanna know how I did it ask me, I'll edumacate you.

Make up love

2007-11-06T02:02:00.001-08:00

I just got the Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion at Sephora (which I really should not be allowed to enter. EVER.) and so far....I LOVE! Put it on this morning, it dries clear, unlike the Laura Mercier stuff I've been previously using, and my shadow stayed on for literally 12 hours. Sure, there was a bit of fading, but it basically did not budge! Just thought I'd share :-)

I'm sorry...whaaaaa????

2007-11-06T01:43:00.000-08:00

So Shia Labeouf has been arrested for refusing to leave a Walgreens at around 2:30 am. Apparently a security guard at a downtown Chicago Walgreens thought that Shia was acting intoxicated, and asked him to leave. Shia said "hells no" and the security guard called the cops. Now, I'm all for law and order, you know that. And ordinarily I'd be all for arresting peeps. But....it's 2:30 am on a weekend. Downtown. 24 hour Walgreens. Isn't everyone in there "intoxicated" in one form or another? Isn't that why they have 24 hour Walgreens? So crack heads and such can get their cheese-whiz and/or baby powder? The security guard thought it was inappropriate for a drunk to be in the store? Don't create an establishment and then kick out the clientele for which said establishment is created. DUH.

More overpriced gorgeousness...

2007-11-06T01:36:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Helen, and I'm a pink peony addict.

2007-11-06T01:22:00.000-08:00

In my effort to at least figure out what type of stuff I want for the wedding, I've been rummaging around the web...and found some beautiful flowers. Then I looked up how much flowers cost, and of course the peonies that I so love are some of the most expensive flowers out there. Go figure! I still love them though...and I'd rather have a single bloom per table of flowers I love, than a bunch that I semi-tolerate. I'm fancy like that!

Yum!

2007-11-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

I think I'm in love. Time for a fund raiser! Anybody interested in a perfectly good kidney? How about a decent liver? I'm not selling my lungs, just b/c I don't want to get sued later!

Doomsday

2007-11-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

Sooooo tomorrow morning is the MPRE. The Model Professional Responsibility Exam. For those of you who have not had the privilege of attending law school, it's just another hoop we have to jump through to be able to practice law, and at least this one costs less than $100 to take, unlike pretty much everything else that is even remotely related to law school. I have to get up at an ungodly hour to make the trek to downtown LA and be ready to "test" at 9am. URGHH. Why there are zero testing facilities in Orange County is beyond me. Pray that I pass, so that I won't have to retake it in March!

i AM staying busy!!!!

2007-11-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

If I hear one more person tell me to "just stay busy" right now I'm going to scream. I'm freaking busy enough, thank you very much. Sometime empty words really do mean nothing.

What not to wear if you don't want your daughter's friends calling her mommy a slut

2007-11-02T00:38:00.000-07:00

I love Kate Beckinsale, I do. Ok, that's a lie. Jonathan loves Kate Beckinsale, I just think she's cute....and I'm just secretly glad he's not into someone like Pam Anderson. Or Jessica Simpson. Or Paris Hilton. Anyways...why oh why would you wear this trick-or-tricking with your kid??? Red pleather? Over-the-knee go go boots? Why Kate why???

This would NEVER happen...

2007-11-02T00:28:00.001-07:00

Now this is my worst nightmare. If anyone expects me to look this way they will be sorely disappointed.

Wedding planning

2007-11-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

As y'all know (my future family-in-law is psedo-southern, so I gotta get into the linguistic groove), I've recently been proposed to. And then promptly left to plan "the damn wedding" all by my lonesome. I'm not trying to be unromantic, that is literally what my adorable husband-to-be called our future nuptuals - "the damn wedding." Now anyone who knows Jonathan will instantly recognize that it's just his endearing way of speaking, and that he does not mean it in any negative way. But the words have been used, and now they've stuck. So "the damn wedding" it is.

I think it is also quite adorable that he thinks I'll have the entire thing planned by the time he gets back from Iraq in March. HA! Don't get me wrong, I like weddings, and planning, and pretty, fluffy things as much as the next girl, but I am also one of the most indecisive people you'll ever meet. So deciding, once and for all, what colors we'll use, what type of food to serve etc. is terrifying to me. I also sort of don't feel like the upcoming wedding is real, since Jon's not here to plan it with me. I know, I know, play the world's smallest violin for me....but it's the truth, and I have to get over it somewhat soon since we're getting married in the late summer/early fall. So watch for a lot of wedding extravaganza planning melt downs. Should be fun for the entire family.

Hellooooooooooooo

2007-11-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

It seems like everyone is getting in on the blogging action. Well, to be more accurate, everyone has already gotten on the blogging action. I'm a dying breed. But we'll see how it works out - I may bore myself to death, or I may surprise myself. What I do know is that blogging takes discipline, which I've been very much lacking lately. So maybe this will force me to have just a bit of structure and accountability. Hah!