It's hot in hell...and lonely!

Sometimes I feel like my life will never be "normal," whatever that may mean. I want calmness, stability, and predictability, with a good dose of fun thrown in. Instead, I have constant upheavals - the Bar, planning a wedding, moving, etc.

J and I have moved into our new apartment in Corona, CA. It was affordable, it's closer to the base where J is stationed, and not too far from OC where all my friends are. The move has been relatively easy - everything works, and I now have cable and internet. The new couch arrives today! But I still feel uneasy. Planning a wedding to an active duty military guy is not something I would recommend, especially with the current status of world affairs. I keep worrying about him not being able to make the wedding constantly. Needless to say, this has not made for an enjoyable pre-wedding period. More than anything, I'm pissed off that I don't even get to enjoy THIS. But that's the price we pay. I keep telling myself that I knew what I was getting into, I "let" him enlist, and I'm so proud of him. But no amount of foresight can ever prepare you for what actually happens. The constant worry, not knowing if your future husband will even make his own wedding because of something stupid, missing him like crazy, not being able to be in the same household even after we are married, all of that is inhumanely difficult. Thank G*d for my girls - you all are awesome, even if it wouldn't hurt you to drive out here to the boonies and visit :-)

On a brighter note, tomorrow is my bachelorette fiasco. We're going out to dinner and then to a "wine lounge." And Steph has just asked me whether me wearing "anything with male genitalia" on it is out of the question. Stay tuned for more, including photos!